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# The Essential Skills Every Leader Needs: How to Master Coaching and Mentoring
**Related Articles:**
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- [Leading Through Confidence Training](https://paramounttraining.com.au/training/leading-through-confidence-training/)
By David Smith, Leadership Coach
Ever wonder how some leaders naturally elevate their people, and some can't seem to create a connection? What if I told you there's a secret, and it's not charisma, it's not that you are naturally better than others, but skills that are actually foundational and which you can learn? These two skills are coaching and mentoring.
Having travelled the world training and consulting with Australian Companies for 25 years, from small family owned businesses in regional Queensland to multinationals in Sydney, I have seen an incredible shift in the way we look to develop our leaders. The old command and control mode is being replaced with something much more potent: leaders who coach and mentor their teams to perform to their maximum potential.
## The Leadership Revolution Taking Place Right Now
Only last month I was working with Rebecca, an operations manager in a manufacturing Business in Newcastle. She reached out to me angry, frustrated that she felt her team weren't delivering to their potential. "'David,' she said, 'I've done everything, performance reviews, training programs, even threats. Nothing seems to work."
And what Rebecca found out over the following weeks changed everything. Instead of telling her team what to do, she said that she learnt to ask them the right questions. Rather than solving their problems for them, she encouraged them to find their own. The change was astonishing, not only of her team's results, but of their engagement and their confidence.
What made the difference? Rebecca had mastered the skills of coaching and mentoring.
## Why All Great Leaders Are Also Great Coaches
Certainly in today's fast changing business world, the old school way of having all the answers doesn't cut it. How can any one individual possibly keep up with the accelerating rate of change, comprehend every nuance of his team's challenges, and yet make the right decisions for everyone?
The reason is simple: they can't. And they don't need to.
The Best Leaders Are Unleashers Unlocking potential is the new model for leadership; no one is born with leadership skills or experience. They know that they aren't there to be the smartest person in the room, but to help everyone else be a little smarter, more capable and more confident.
I recall my days of training Marcus, a Victoria State regional manager for a retail chain. He was over his head, putting in 70 hour weeks and pinballing from one crisis to the next. Beautiful things are going to happen when we introduced [coaching principles](https://zoneonline.bigcartel.com/product/active-listening) to his leadership approach. His team began solving problems before they landed in his inbox. They were more innovative, more engaged, and, somehow, even more productive.
But how does this switch occur? It begins by coming to grips with the core skills of coaching and mentoring.
## The Foundation: How to Listen in a Way That Actually Gets You Heard
Here's a question that might catch your attention: When was the last time you listened, really listened to understand rather than to reply?
Active listening is the foundation of good coaching and mentoring, but it's the hardest skill for most leaders to master. We're too busy formulating our reply, our fix, or our answer that we don't hear the true meaning behind what's being shared with us.
It was the hard way that I learnt that lesson early in my career. I was coaching Jennifer, a team leader, in a Brisbane logistics Company. She came to me again and again with what appeared to be routine operational issues. I would provide her with a couple of fast fixes and then help her get on her way. But the problems kept multiplying.
And finally, I stopped talking and really started to listen. But what I found out was that Jennifer wasn't in search of solutions, she was experiencing a crisis of confidence. Her team was limping over some new technology, and she felt she was letting them down. After I got wise to what was actually going on, we could handle it.
The lesson? People rarely require us to fix their problems. They rely upon us to support them in formulating their own solutions to their problems. Active listening allows for that discovery to take place.
## The Power of Questions That Change Lives
What if the most potent leadership tool you have is not a declaration, but a question?
The best coaches and advisors know that the right question at the right moment can unlock insights that no volume of advice ever could. However, not all questions are of equal value.
I was coaching Adrian, a construction project manager on the Gold Coast and he was facing the constant battle of the moving project scope. Instead of telling him what to do, I asked him this: "What would have to be true for this project to be successful in spite of the changes?"
That one question changed everything for him. Rather than taking change as a problem, he began conceiving of it as a puzzle to be solved. His team started building flexibility into their processes, so what had once been a source of stress became a competitive advantage.
The key to powerful questioning is this: Ask questions that prompt exploration rather than require answers. Questions like:
"What do you think is happening here?"
"What would success mean for you?"
"What's the smallest step you can take one today?"
"What would you attempt to do if you knew you couldn't fail?"
These questions don't just collect information, they create insight and possibility.
## Building Trust: The Invisible Foundation
How do you coach or mentor someone who doesn't trust you? Simple answer: not at all.
Trust is not established in grand gestures or inspirational speeches. It adds up through consistency, sincerity, and actually caring about the other person's success.
I was brought in once to help with a telecommunications Company in Perth where the management had lost total trust of the employees. The CEO, Michael, had wanted to bring in a coaching culture, but no one wanted it and were sceptical.
We started small. Michael started holding one on one meetings with his team members regularly, not performance reviews, but real conversations about goals, challenges, and dreams. He heard without judging, asked probing questions and followed through on pledges.
It was months but a trust started to build. People began to open up, brainstorm and own the solutions. The transformation did not occur overnight, but when it did, it was complete.
Trust is established through small, repetitive actions that show you sincerely want the other person to succeed, and that you care about the person they are, not just the things you need them to do for you.
## The Art of Feedback That Works (And Doesn't Hurt)
Why do the vast majority of people fear feedback discussions? Because feedback is typically given so poorly and is so often about what's wrong and at least as much about what's wrong with how it was delivered, that it ends up making people feel criticised, not supported.
Great coaching and mentoring calls for weighing feedback in a way that lifts them up while providing encouragement.
I got this insight from a team leader in a food processing plant in rural New South Wales whose name is Patricia. When one of her team members, Jake, had quality control struggles, she didn't start critiquing Jake's quality control.
Instead, she said: "Jake, I've watched you and you're really thorough in your first looks, how many people pass and don't see things and you actually pay attention to things that should be one of your strengths. I wondered what goes on during the final check phase. What do you feel would help you bring that same level of focus to the whole thing?"
Notice what Patricia did? She:
Started with a strength
Observed, not judged
Prompted with a question instead of an order
Enlisted Jake to help with the problem
The result? Jake not only achieved a significant turnaround in his performance, but also rose to be one of the plant's quality champions.
Good feedback is a gift, not a weapon. It is intended to get people to see where they have blind spots and to appreciate that everything is possible.
## Setting Goals That Actually Get Done
How many New Year's Resolutions did you keep last year? If you are like most people, the answer is probably: not many. But what if I told you there's an easy to apply template that can exponentially raise the odds of reaching any goal?
In coaching and mentoring, we work with SMART goals, Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time bound. But even more importantly, we bring people in the process of setting their goals, instead of giving them goals.
I had a client, Emma, a marketing co ordinator based in Adelaide who felt very much at a career crossroads. Instead of telling her what she should be paying attention to, I asked her to do some detective work. We probed her values, her strengths and her vision of the future.
Together we created a target: "I will increase my knowledge in digital marketing and I will do this by undertaking two online certifications in the next six months and I will head up one big social media campaign so that I will be ready for a more senior marketing role."
The goal was hers. The timeline was realistic. The steps were clear. And because Emma was the one to set it up, she was deeply committed to reaching it.
Get people involved in establishing their own goals, and they're endlessly more likely to reach them.
## Overcoming the Inevitable Challenges
So why does coaching and mentoring get tough? Because it will get difficult. It will be difficult at times, and some individuals will push back and react defensively, or express a lack of interest in changing.
I recall working with Craig, a warehouse supervisor in Melbourne who was having problems with underperforming team member, David. David had been with the Organisation for fifteen years, when he has turned into a cynical and naysayer for any aspect being worked on.
Craig's initial reaction was to dismiss David as a "lost cause." But we looked at things a different way. Rather than working to change David, Craig sought to understand him. In conversation with his patient, Craig found out that David felt unappreciated and that he had been passed over for promotions.
Now that he knew the cause, Craig could deal with it. He assigned David more responsibilities, asked for his input on how processes could be better, and made it clear that he knew and respected his experience and expertise. David's attitude and performance transformed.
The lesson? Resistance is typically a sign that something crucial is not being addressed. Great coaches and teachers learn to view resistance as information, not an obstacle.
## Creating a Culture of Growth
What would your Organisation do if every single person in it was coaching and mentoring one another? This is not just a good idea, it is a doable reality.
I've witnessed it first hand in an accounting firm in Canberra where the partners agreed to a top down culture of coaching. They began by honing their own coaching skills, then taught those skills to their managers, and ultimately to every team member.
The results were extraordinary:
Employee engagement scores jumped by 40%
Client satisfaction improved significantly
Staff turnover reduced to nearly 0
Innovation and problem solving improved dramatically
The essential ingredient was to make coaching and mentoring everybody's job, not just the remit of managers.
## Concluding Remarks
So where do you start? The path to being a great coach and mentor starts with one conversation, one question, one moment of truly listening.
Here's your challenge: In your next conversation with a team member, resist the urge to give advice. Instead, ask a powerful question and then truly listen to the answer. See what happens.
The skills of coaching and mentoring aren't just nice to have, they're essential for any leader who wants to create lasting impact. They transform not just your team's performance, but your entire approach to leadership.
Remember, the best leaders aren't the ones with all the answers, they're the ones who help others find their own.